Til I Became the One Who Always Went Too Far
by Kalcifier
Summary: Alphys writes to some old friends, ideally without saying that she abandoned them to create perversions of nature.


You're staring at a blank screen. This isn't an unusual state of affairs for you, but for once you're not working on a particularly stubborn fanfic or a letter to the family of someone you...

Well. Today you're just trying to compose an Undernet message. You wouldn't think it would be hard, given how much of your life you've wasted on this website, but here you are.

You're not even sure what you want to say. "Sorry for disappearing, I was busy committing crimes against nature?" You actually typed those words once, in a fit of frustration and despair, but you deleted them immediately. That's not a conversation you want to have, even if they aren't too freaked out by it to respond.

(Should you even still be thinking of those two as "them"? They'd always seemed inseparable, but then you never would have guessed you'd leave them behind like this. On the other hand, you don't think you can handle writing two separate messages, so you'll just assume and send them the one.)

(Then again which account would you even send it to? Would they see that as favoritism?)

(Maybe you'll send the same message to both accounts. You know, when you have a message.)

A large part of you says not to bother. What are the odds that they'll even remember you? And if they do, will they think you're creepy for trying to get back in touch?

On the other hand, you feel like letting a friendship die because of your cowardice is kind of pathetic even for you.

(Besides, now that Mettaton's gotten back in touch with his old friends you don't really have an excuse. You refuse to be less considerate than Mettaton.)

What finally kicks you into motion is the thought that Undyne will be home soon. You love her, and you're getting used to the idea that she loves you, but you haven't actually mentioned this to her. She'd probably be really supportive of you, and since you're 95% convinced you're making a fool of yourself you don't want to let her down.

You write something generic, vague platitudes about being sorry you lost contact, and send it before you have a chance to second guess yourself. You wait for the wave of regret and self-loathing, but surprisingly it never comes. After all, if they don't respond nothing will have changed but the nature of your guilt.

Besides, Undyne is coming home. You have better things to do than worry about an online message.

And that would have been the end of it, except that you actually got a response. You had gotten onto Undernet to send Sans some stupid meme, because somehow that had become like half your relationship, and there it was. An innocuous notification that you had one new message, from a GlamCat15.

You have a mission, though, and you refuse to be swayed. You send Sans your stupid meme (a picture of a bottle of ketchup in with the hair care products in a shower) before reluctantly opening your inbox.

"OMG, Alphys! It's so good to hear from you, it's been like forever! We have a wicked thrift store now. It's like collecting trash, but better.

Anyway, we should totally hang out sometime. You should bring Mettaton, too!

I'm sorry Catty has no chill. We can at least wait until next time to meet him.

Anyway, come check out our shop! We can even give you a discount on all this super cool stuff."

There's an address, and you notice that it's not too far from your house. This isn't surprising, since the monsters are still mostly clustered around Mount Ebott, but it's nice to have something concrete to notice so you don't completely freak out.

No, this is good. You wanted to catch up with them, and this is a good excuse to do it with no pressure. If you have to run away, they'll be trapped at their job, and they don't know where you live unless they've talked to Undyne which they might have and -

No. You remember them as being sweet girls, and from the sounds of their message they haven't changed too much. Talking to them should be as easy as it ever was. You know you have shared interests, and they aren't related to any of your victims so there won't be any awkwardness about that. You can do this.

You just have to give yourself a week to build up your courage.


End file.
